Author(s):

Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi

Publisher(s):

Islamic Education & Information Center

Preface to the First Edition

This book is the result of a need which I sensed after my first three years in Canada. A person in my position as a religious guide is always confronted by people with questions related to their religious and personal problems.

Unlike the atmosphere in the East where the contact is more on a personal level, the contact in this part of the world is more through correspondence and telephone calls. I soon realized that whenever the question was 'embarrassing' or related to sexual behavior, the caller would prefer not to give his or her name.

And, of course, I had no reason to insist on knowing the identity of the callers; my only duty is to listen and convey the Islamic view to those who seek.

However, what was most interesting about these 'embarrassing' questions was that in majority of cases the callers were feeling guilty for actions that were absolutely permissible in Islam. But because of their ignorance or misinformation, they had been feeling guilty for things which were not at all forbidden in the Islamic shari'ah.

And I said to myself: There must be many more people out there who are going through similar experience, feeling guilty and depressed; and all this because of ignorance! Not all have the courage to talk on such issues or even call without revealing their identity. And so I decided that I have to do something.

I started writing on the sexual morality of Islam. This was in 1986. When I finished the initial draft, I thought that the material might be considered too controversial, and so I decided to test the water before publishing the book.

A lecture on 'Sex and Marriage in Islam' was organized on November 9, 1986 at the Shi'a Muslim Community Center in Vancouver. The vast majority of the community members responded very positively. A lady from the audience wrote a letter which expresses the reaction of the majority. She wrote:

"Thank you very much for the excellent lecture you delivered us on Sunday, November 9th. I must say that you are very brave and you presented the material with great calmness and poise. So far we have never had a Maulana who shared such an invaluable knowledge to educate our community... From my own experience, your educative lecture has clarified many doubts as to what is allowed in our shari'ah..."

Later on I came to know that the video cassette of the lecture was sent to different places as far as England and East Africa. Since I had mentioned in the video that this is the draft of a forth-coming book, I started getting inquiries about it. The response further encouraged me to go ahead with the publication of the book.

However, the publication was, unfortunately, delayed for three years because of my involvement in some other activities. During the last months of 1989, Almighty Allah blessed me with the opportunity to finalize the book. While finalizing the book, I started adding many discussions which eventually doubled the size of the initial draft of 1986 and increased its academic value. This, I hope, will redeem me in the eyes of my readers for the three years delay.

* * *

Chapter One gives a short historical review of the Western sexual morality. This sets the tone for the next chapter which presents the basic view of Islam on marriage and sex. In this chapter, I have also critically reviewed the ideas of an Arab feminist, Fatima Mernissi, on woman's sexuality in Islam. The remaining three chapters deal with the practical aspects of marriage: sexual relations; contraceptives and abortion; and new techniques in human reproduction.

* * *

In the last three chapters of the book, the reader will find a variety of opinions among the Shi'ah mujtahids. (Mujtahids means jurists, the experts of Islamic laws.) The difference of opinion is an essential part of ijtihad which is still a live institution in Shi'ah Islam. I have also clearly given the opinions of the most high-ranking Shi'ah mujtahids of our time, in particular Ayatullah al-'uzma Sayyid Abu 'l-Qasim al-Musawi al-Khu'i and the late Ayatullah al-'uzma al-Imam Sayyid Ruhullah al-Musawi al-Khumayni.

However, I must clarify at the very outset that there are some issues on which the present writer has given his own opinions. This has been done mostly in those cases where the present mujtahids have no opinion. In any case, since all the views have been mentioned clearly, the muqallidin (followers) of the present mujtahids can use this book without any concern about the validity of their actions.

I hope this book will receive even better reception than the video of 1986; and I pray to Allah, subhanahuwa ta'ala, to guide me to the best of opinions and accept this work as a small contribution towards serving Islam. Inna rabbi la Sami'u 'd-du'a.

S. M. Rizvi
Richmond, B.C.
Jamadi II 1410
January 1990

Preface to the Second Edition

The first edition (1990) of this book was very well received by the readers around the globe. It was reprinted in Iran by a publisher whose foreign language publications are distributed all over the world. Its excerpts have been published in magazines in India, South Africa and also in Norwegian language.

In 1993, Mr. M. H. Assagaf translated Marriage & Morals in Islam into Indonesian, a language used, according to him "by the people of Indonesia (170 million), Malaysia, Brunei and parts of Singapore and Thailand."

In 1993, I revised and expanded the previous edition. Besides correcting the spelling mistakes and minor changes and additions to the text and footnotes, two sub-sections "Whom Can You Marry?" and "The 'Aqd" were added in Chapter Three, and the section on "Sources of the Shari'ah" was moved from the Introduction to the end of the book as Appendix I. I have also added a section on "The Major Ablution: Ghusl Janabat" as Appendix II.

I hope this edition proves more useful to the seekers of truth. Wa ma tawfiqi illa bi 'l-lah.

Jamadi I, 1415
October 1994
S. M. Rizvi
Toronto, Canada

Introduction

A. Why This Book?

Writers do not normally have to justify their subject. If they think that what they are writing will be useful to the people in their practical life or in their intellectual pursuit, then they feel no need to justify their work. The present book has both qualities: it is useful and of intellectual interest. But there are many people, even among the Muslims, who think that sex is a taboo subject in all religions. Therefore, it is very appropriate to begin with the question: Is discussion of sexual morality allowed in Islam?

To answer this question one has to look at the definition of religion from the Islamic point of view. Anyone who has studied Islam even on surface can easily know that "religion" in Islamic definition is "a complete system of life" which covers all aspects of human life from the day a person is conceived up to the day he or she is laid in grave.

Islam is not only concerned with the spiritual upliftment of human beings, it is equally concerned about their material and physical well-being. Islam guides its followers in financial and economic matters, in social and political affairs, and also in moral and personal spheres of human life. In moral and personal matters, Islam has specific dietary guide-lines, hygienic rules, dress codes, and also rules about marriage, divorce and inheritance.

The Islamic laws of marriage do not stop at how to marry and whom to marry, it also deals with the sexual morality of human beings. This sexual morality, as we shall see in the following chapters, has been discussed in the Qur'an, and by the Prophet and his Ahlu'l-bayt very thoroughly and openly. Thus there should be no doubt in the mind of anyone about the permission Islam has given for open discussion of sexual morality.

This was about the basic permission which Islam has given to discuss the sexual morality. But this explanation will not be enough for some people who will confront me with the next question: "Is it necessary to discuss sex?"

There are three reasons for the necessity of discussing sexual morality. The first reason applies to all Muslims and the other two reasons are relevant to the Muslims in the Western world who are the primary audience of this book.

Firstly, all Muslims agree that it is the duty of every Muslim to follow the shari'ah Islamic laws; and the laws of Islam are not confined to prayers, fasting, pilgrimage, and other ritual acts. The shari'ah has specific rules about sex also. Therefore, if a Muslim wants to follow Islam fully, then he or she must know the sexual morality of Islam, just as he or she must learn how to perform the daily prayers.

Secondly, the necessity of learning the Islamic sexual morality for the Muslims who are exposed to the New Sexual Morality of the West cannot be over-emphasized. At present, the propagandists of the new sexual morality are presenting their ideas through all the available means of communication: books, magazines, television, movies and videos.

The Muslims in the Western world are, in one way or another, exposed to the unIslamic sexual norms of the West. (This is an understatement; in reality even the Muslims in the East are exposed to the Western culture! ) Therefore, it is absolutely necessary for them to know the Islamic views about sex so they may live an Islamic life.

Thirdly, children in the Western world have excess to sex education to an extent unimaginable by the previous generation, and therefore, it is very important for today's parents to be aware of the right and the wrong in this subject. Only an informed Muslim parent will be able to face this problem correctly and responsibly. These reasons should be a sufficient justification for this book to those who, in the Qur'anic expression, have 'a heart or give ear with a present mind.'

B. Sex Education

The third reason given above does not necessarily mean that I am in total agreement with the way sex education is handled in the Western school systems. I have no problem with the basic ideas that children should be educated about sex. However, I disagree with the age at which sex education begins and with its contents. This issue by itself deserves a detailed discussion which is beyond the scope of my present study. Nonetheless, I will briefly mention my thoughts on these two issues.

Age

Sex education should begin in mid-teens when the children become sexually mature. The aim of sex education at this level should be to help them in understanding that they are responsible and accountable for using their sexual organs.

They should be taught how to deal with sexual tension. (However, by looking at the proportionally high level of child sexual abuse in the Western world [which reflects the degree of its moral decay], I am prepared to accept those programs for young children which aim at educating them as how to protect themselves from sexual abuse. But this, in my view, is not sex education and therefore would not apply to our present discussion.)

Contents

In this permissive society, the emphasis on sex education is more on preventing unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. No serious attempt is made in making the youngsters aware of the virtue of chastity and abstinence till they get married. This is not just because the Western society is a secular, liberal society, it is also related to its consumer-orientated economy. If sex education means only how to prevent unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, then the students learn nothing but the importance of using pills, condoms and other contraceptive devices.

In other words, such sex education is nothing but a promotional program for the manufacturers of contraceptive aids! Germaine Greer, a famous feminist, wrote about promoting contraceptives in the Third world as follows, "The sex reformers, who exhibit no respect for traditional values and address themselves to sexuality without interest in or comprehension of the whole personality, are the bawds of capitalism."1 I totally agree with her not only in relation to the third world but even in case of the sex education in the West.

The reason why sex educators are under pressure not to talk about the natural methods of birth control is not only because such methods are not hundred percent reliable (otherwise, even the condoms are not hundred percent reliable!), the real reason seems to be that if natural methods (like coitus interrupts or abstinence) which involve no expense become more popular, then who will buy the condoms and the pills?

In short I agree with the necessity of sex education for youngsters provided it exhibits respect for their religious and moral values, and addresses the issue comprehensively and not just end up as a promotional program for 'the bawds of capitalism'.

1. Greer, Sex and Destiny, p. 219.

Chapter One: The Western Sexual Morality

Is sex inherently evil? A Muslim would be surprised by this question. Such a thought would never cross his mind. But the relevance of this question to Christianity and the Western world will become clear from the following pages.

In the last eighty years, especially after the two World Wars, the sexual morality of the West has undergone a great change which is commonly described as the "sexual revolution.” On the ruins of the dying Christian morality, the west is trying to build a liberal sexual morality known as the "New Sexual Morality". To understand the social and historical background in which the new morality is emerging, we must study the sexual morality of the Christian Church.

A. Christian Sexual Morality

Although Christianity is commonly thought to be a religion based on Jesus Christ's teachings, I use the word "Christianity" in this book for the teachings of the Church establishment. I am justified in doing so because the Bible has recorded nothing from Jesus Christ on marriage and sex. The exception being the sermon condemning visual and physical adultery:

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery. But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.1

The first person in Christianity to talk on sexual morality was St. Paul. He says, "It is good for a man not to touch a woman." (Corinthians I, 7:1) In simple words this means that the Christian Church teaches that celibacy is better than marriage, and that the human body is not for sexual pleasure but for the Lord only. "The body is not meant for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body...Do you know that your bodies are members of Christ? (Corinthians I, 6:13,15)

St. Paul knew that celibacy means suppressing human nature but human nature cannot be suppressed. He knew that if marriage is totally forbidden, then people will still indulge in sexual gratification unlawfully. So he says, "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and every woman have her own husband."(Corinthians I, 7:2)

Then as if to prevent the people from forgetting the holiness of celibacy, he continues: "I say this by way of concession, not of command. For I wish that all men were as I myself am...Therefore, I say to the unmarried and the widows that it is good for them to remain singles as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn." (Corinthians I, 7:6-9) So marriage, when compared to fornication, is the lesser of two evils!

St. Paul further goes on to describe that marriage means distress: "Now concerning the unmarried...I think that in the view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is...Are you free from a wife? Then do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you do not sin, and if a girl marries, she does not sin. Yet those who marry shall have trouble in flesh." (Corinthians I, 7:25-28)

According to the Bible, marriage and pleasing God are antipathetic to each other. St. Paul says, "I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord, but the married man is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please his wife and his interest is divided...The unmarried woman cares for the affairs of the Lord, that she may be holy in body and spirit; but a married woman cares for worldly affairs, how to please her husband.

I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord." (Corinthians I, 7:32,35) He concludes the Christian position as follows: "So that he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marrying will do better." (Corinthians I, 7:38)

So the Christian view on marriage, in its original form, can be summarized as follows:

(a) Celibacy is good and should be adopted;

(b) in order to refrain from fornication, marriage is allowed; but it is regrettable and one should try his or her best to avoid it;

(c) marriage retards salvation and is antipathetic to pleasing God.

Three centuries after St. Paul, came a theologian known as St. Augustine. Like his predecessor, he believed that sex was a threat to spiritual upliftment: "I know nothing which brings the manly mind down from the heights more than a woman's caresses and that joining of bodies without which one cannot have a wife."2

He went even further than St. Paul by associating guilt with sex. He acknowledged that was essential for reproduction but argued that the act of sexual intercourse itself was tainted with guilt because of the sin of Adam and Eve. Sexual intercourse was transformed from something innocent to something shameful by the original sin of Adam and Eve, which is passed on from generation to generation.

In his The City of God, St. Augustine says, "Man's transgression [i.e., Adam and Eve's sin] did not annul the blessing of fertility bestowed upon him before he sinned, but infected it with the disease of lust."3

In short, he preached that: (a) sex was something shameful because of the original sin of Adam and Eve; (b) chastity and celibacy was of a higher morality than marriage; (c) celibacy was a prerequisite for priests and nuns.

B. The Victorian Era

There is no doubt that the survey of the Christian sexual morality is essential for understanding the sexual revolution of this century; but to fully comprehend the historical background in which the new sexual morality has emerged, it is equally important to look at the Victorian era.

"While the Christians in the pre-Victorian era were content with restricting sex to marriage, Victorians were concerned with how best to harness sex and rechannel it to loftier ends. For Victorians a moral man abstained from sex outside of marriage and was highly selective and considerate in sexual expression within marriage. And a moral woman endured these sporadic ordeals and did nothing to encourage them. Pleasure was not an appropriate goal for either sex, but especially not so for a woman."4

The following can be stated as the sexual morality of the Christian West in the nineteenth century:

(a) sex is morally degrading compared to celibacy;

(b) sexual passion in human beings is a result of the original sin, therefore sex for pleasure is sinful;

(c) sex without pleasure is allowed only with the intention of procreation.

At the dawn of the twentieth century, the prevalent view was that sex is inherently evil and is acceptable only as a lesser of two evils of fornication and marriage.

C. The Sexual Revolution

What you read above was a brief historical and social background of the Christian West against which the New Morality was emerging. The Church made a serious error in suppressing the most natural urge of human beings, the very means of their perpetuity. And it is obvious that natural urges can never be suppressed. 'Allamah Rizvi writes:

If a religion shuts its eyes to the intricacies of family problems, its followers, sooner or later, will revolt against it, destroying all religious tenets in the wake of the rebellion...Christianity ignored the claims of human nature, extolling the idea of celibacy. Many zealous people tried to live up to that ideal. Monks and nuns shut themselves in monasteries. For a short period, this scheme worked well.

Then nature took its revenge; the monks and abbots cultivated the idea that they were representatives of Christ, and the nuns were given the titles of 'brides of Christ.' So with easy conscience they turned the monasteries into centres of sexual liberties.5

Commenting on the attitude of the Christian clergy, Russell writes, "It was only towards the end of the thirteenth century that the celibacy of the clergy was rigidly enforced. The clergy, of course, continued to have illicit relations with women..."6

Pope John XII was condemned for adultery and incest; the abbot-elect of St. Augustine, at Canterbury, in 1171 was found to have seventeen illegitimate children in a single village; Henry III, Bishop of Leige, was deposed in 1274 for having sixty-five illegitimate children.

The writers of the Middle Ages are full of accounts of nunneries that were like brothels, of the vast multitude of infanticides within their walls, and of incest among the clergy which forced the church to announce that priests should not be permitted to live with their mothers and sisters.7

This and nothing else could have been the consequence of an unnatural sexual morality. Those who could not suppress their natural urges, indulged in sinful acts secretly; others, like Martin Luther, revolted against the church and started the reformation movement which abandoned celibacy.

And when the Christian Church lost its influence in social affairs of the Western world and a separation between the Church and the state took place, even the lay man revolted. This revolt gained momentum after the two World Wars; and the Christian West started the sexual revolution in reaction to the sexual suppression.

A reform movement takes the society from extremes towards moderation; whereas a revolution, in its early stages, takes the society from one extreme to the other. ' Allamah Rizvi comments, "Nature can be compared to a steel spring which, when pressed down, jumps back with equal force. When it took its revenge upon Christians, it turned Christian societies into the most permissive, libertine and undisciplined ones the world had ever seen."8

Thus the New Morality emerged in the West and leaped to the other extreme. From the extreme of suppressing natural desires, some preachers of the new morality went to the extreme of unrestrained sexual freedom which is the realm of the animal world. They propounded the idea of "sex for fun," "sex for its own sake" and "free sex" which eventually would have completely destroyed the concept of family, the fabric of human society.

In the late eighties, it can be said that the spring of nature is returning to its normal position. Katchadourian and Lunde, writing in 1980, say, "The morality of 'sex for fun' or 'sex for its own sake' never appealed to even the majority of the young. The romantic ideals of marriage, fidelity, and a stable home life for rearing children were still very much alive and influential in American life. A new synthesis of values is arising.

Many of the changes in sexual attitudes of the 1960s have been retained, but the more radical beliefs have been found to be unacceptable by most people. Many individuals are willing to approve of premarital exploration, but they want to be certain that no one gets hurt. Many have found that 'sex for its own sake' was not as gratifying as it looked when it first became popular; and others have seen so many people hurt by irresponsible sex that they are asking for a new morality of responsible sex."9

* * *

To summarize, we can say that firstly, the West traveled from one extreme (that of sexual suppression exemplified by the Christian Church) to the other extreme (that of free sex and sex for fun exemplified by the liberal sexual morality). Secondly, the West has realized that free sex and sex for fun is not acceptable to human sensibilities. Finally, after jumping from one extreme to the other, the West is longing for "a new morality of responsible sex." In our view, the morality of responsible sex is the balanced sexual morality of Islam to which we shall turn soon.

* * *

The reason why I discussed the religious and social background in which the sexual revolution has taken place is to let the Muslims In the West and the East know that this revolution was not a by-product of science and technology per se (although some scientific technologies like contraceptives have made it easier); rather it was a reaction to the suppressive sexual morality of the Christian Church. This, I hope, will also break the myth among many Asians and Africans, especially the elite class, that every behavior and norm of the West is based on sound scientific reasons!

1. Matthew, 5:27-29.

2. Basic Writings of St. Augustine, p. 455.

3. The City of God, p. 21

4. Fundamentals of Human Sexuality, p. 483.

5. The Family Life of Islam, p. 8.

6. Marriage and Morals, p. 64.

7. History of European Morals, vol. II p. 350-351.

8. The Family Life of Islam, p. 8-9.

9. Fundamentals of Human Sexuality, p. 420.

Chapter Two: The Islamic Sexual Morality (1) Its Foundation

A. Defining the Islamic View

The Islamic sexual morality is fundamentally different from that of the Christian Church. This is because of the all-encompassing nature of the Islamic shari'ah. Bertrand Russell says, "Great religious leaders, with the exception of Muhammad and Confucius, if he can be called religious have in general been very indifferent to social and political considerations, and have sought rather to perfect the soul by meditation, discipline and self-denial."1

Yes, Islam has surely not been indifferent to social problems.

The Islamic sexual morality is also fundamentally different from the new sexual morality in a sense that it does not accept the concept of free sex. Islam aims at teaching its followers not to suppress their sexual urges, rather to fulfil them but in a responsible way.

Islam recognizes the sexual needs of human beings and believes that the natural instincts should be nurtured, not suppressed. Islam says that the biological parts of our body have a purpose; they have not been created uselessly. No text in Islam can be found to equate sex with inherent evil or sin; whatever has been taught by the Qur'an, Prophet Muhammad and his Ahlu'l-bayt points in the opposite direction.

What the Qur'an and the authentic sunnah and I emphasize on authentic have said about sex and marriage will now be discussed under the following headings: Islam has very highly recommended marriage as a good deed and not as a lesser of two evils; Islam has very strongly opposed celibacy and monasticism, and Islam believes that marriage is not a hindrance in spiritual wayfaring, on the contrary it helps the wayfarer.

1. Marriage is Highly Recommended

It is important to realize that in Islamic texts the idea of marriage is not restricted to a platonic relationship between husband and wife, nor is it confined to sex for the purpose of procreation . The legal term for marriage is "nikah" which literally means sexual intercourse.

Marriage is a highly recommended deed. Allah says,

"Marry the spouseless among you...if they are poor, God will enrich them of His bounty." (Qur'an 24:32)

The first word of this verse begins with "ankihu" (Marry!) which is an imperative form of the word nikah. According to the principles of Islamic jurisprudence, any communication in imperative form from God can have two levels of meaning: either it is an obligatory command or a very high recommendation.

And therefore we see that in Islam celibacy is not considered as a virtue. Based on this verse we find the Prophet saying that, "Whoever refrains from marriage because of fear of poverty, he has indeed thought badly of God."2 In another verse Allah says:

"... Then marry such women as seem good to you two, three or four. But if you fear that you will not do justice between your wives, then marry only one..." (4:3)

Sex has been openly recommended in the Qur'an,

"When they [i.e., the wives] have cleansed themselves [after menstruation], you go into them as Allah has commanded." (2:222)

The phrase 'commanded you' does not refer to any legislative command; that is, it does not mean that as soon as a person's wife becomes clean from her period, he should immediately have sex with her. It is a creative command and refers to the sexual urge which Allah has placed in our nature. And when the sexual urge is counted as a creative command of God, then who can associate it in any way with sin and evil?!

Marriage and sex are among the signs of God's power and blessings. The Qur'an says,

"And among His signs is that He has created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may live in tranquillity with them; and He has created love and mercy between you. Verily, in that are signs for those who reflect." (30:21)

From these few verses of the Qur'an, one can easily understand that according to Islam: (a) marriage is a sign of God's power and blessings; (b) marriage is a highly recommended act of virtue which should not be avoided because of poverty; (c) sexual urge is a creative command of God placed in human nature. After equating sex with Allah's creative command, there can be no room for equating it with guilt, sin or evil.

* * *

The Prophet and the Imams of Ahlu'l Bayt also encouraged their followers to marry and to fulfill their sexual urges in lawful ways as can be seen from the following: The Prophet said, "No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage."3

The Prophet said, "O you young men! I recommend marriage to you."4 Imam 'Ali said, "Marry, because marriage is the tradition of the Prophet.

The Prophet said, 'Whosoever likes to follow my tradition, then he should know that marriage is from my tradition.'"5 Imam Riza said, "Three things are from the traditions of the messengers of God: using perfume, removing the [excessive] hair and frequently visiting one's wife."6 Ishaq bin 'Ammar quotes Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq as follows: "Loving women is among the traditions of the prophets." 7

The Prophet said, "Prayer has been made the apple of my eyes, and my pleasure is in women." 8 See with what ease the Prophet moves from prayers to the pleasure of women! The Prophet said, "No Muslim man has gained a benefit after [the religion of] Islam better than a Muslim wife who is a cause of his pleasure whenever he looks towards her..."9

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir quotes the Prophet as follows: "Allah says that, 'Whenever I intend to gather the good of this world and the hereafter for a Muslim, I give him a heart which is humble [to Me], a tongue which praises [Me], a body which can bear [worldly] affliction and a believing wife who is a cause of his pleasure whenever he looks towards her and who protects herself and his property when he is absent."10 See with what ease Allah has combined His praise with the pleasure a man derives from a faithful wife!

Jamil bin Darraj quotes Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq saying, "Mankind has not enjoyed [anything] in this world and the hereafter more than the desire for women. Allah says, 'The love of desire of women has been made to seem fair to people.'[3:14] The people of the Paradise do not enjoy anything from it more desirable than sex, neither food nor drink."11

2. Celibacy & Monasticism is Forbidden

The Islamic point of view about the worldly good things is not negative, rather it says that we should appreciate them as the blessings of God. And Islam is, therefore, totally opposed to monasticism and celibacy. 'Uthman bin Maz'un was a close companion of the Prophet. One day his wife came to the Prophet and complained, "O the Messenger of God! 'Uthman fasts during the day and stands for prayers during the night."

In other words, she meant to say that her husband was abstaining from sexual relations during the night as well as the day. The Prophet was so much angered with this that he did not even wait to put on his slippers.

He came out with the slippers in his hands and went to 'Uthman's house. The Prophet found him praying. When 'Uthman finished his prayers and turned towards the Prophet, the latter said, "O 'Uthman! Allah did not send me for monasticism, rather He sent me with a simple and straight [shari'ah].

I fast, pray and also have intimate relations with my wife. So whosoever likes my tradition, then he should follow it; and marriage is one of my traditions.12 Since 'Uthman was already married, the word "marriage" in this hadith can only be applied to sexual relations.

In another incident, three women came to the Prophet and complained that their husbands were abstaining from meat, perfume and intimate relations with their wives. The Prophet quickly came to the mosque, went on the pulpit and said, "What has happened to some of my companions that they do not eat meat, they do not use perfume and they do not go to their women?! Whereas I eat meat, use perfume and go to my wives. Therefore whosoever dislikes my tradition, then he is not from me.13

Ibn Abu 'Umayr quotes that Sikkin an-Nakha'i had devoted himself to prayers and abstinence from women and delicious food. Then he wrote a letter to Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq seeking clarification about his actions. The Imam wrote, "As for what you have said about abstaining from women, you surely know how many women the Prophet had! As for food, the Prophet used to eat meat and honey."14 The Imam is obviously condemning the holier-than-thou attitude of his companion.

Imam 'Ali narrates that some companions of the Prophet had vowed to abstain from sexual relations with their wives, from eating during the day and from sleeping during the night. Umm Salamah, the Prophet' s wife, informed him about this group. The Prophet went out to his companions and said, "Do you abstain from women whereas I go to the women?! I eat during the day and sleep during the night! Whosoever dislikes my tradition, then he is not from me." After this speech, Allah revealed the following verse:

O you who believe! Do not forbid [for yourselves] the good things which Allah has permitted you; and do not exceed [the law] Allah does not like those who exceed [the law]. Therefore eat of the lawful and good things that Allah has provided you, and fear Allah in whom you believe. (5:87-8)

Read this verse carefully and see that firstly, it counts sex, food and sleep among "the lawful and good things which Allah has permitted you;" and secondly celibacy and abstinence is considered as "exceeding the law of God."

After this verse was revealed, those companions came to the Prophet and said, "O Messenger of God! We have taken oath to abstain from those things." That is, how can we now break our oath of abstinence? Then Allah revealed the following verse:

"Allah will not call you [to account] for vain oaths..." (5:84)

Again, note that an oath of celibacy or abstinence from the good and lawful things is considered by Islam as 'vain oaths!'15

The discouraging of celibacy is not confined to men, even women have been discouraged from remaining single. Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq said, "The Prophet has forbidden the women to become ascetic and to prevent themselves from husbands."16

'Abdus Samad bin Bashir quotes that a woman came to Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq and said, "May God bless you; I am an ascetic woman."

The Imam: "What does asceticism mean to you?"

The woman: "It means that I will never marry."

The Imam: "Why?"

The woman: "By practicing asceticism, I want to acquire favor (of God)."

The Imam: "Go away! If asceticism was a means of acquiring favor (of God), then Fatimah would have been more entitled to it than you because none can gain more favor [in the eyes of Allah] than her."17

A similar incident is also narrated in relation to Imam Riza.

The Prophet said, "The most low [in status] among your dead are the singles."18

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq says that a person came to my father. My father asked him, "Do you have a wife?" He said, "No. "My father said, "I would not prefer to have the world with all its riches while I sleep at night without a wife."19

3. Marriage Helps in Spirituality

In Islam, contrary to Christianity, marriage and sex are not antipathetic to the love for and worship of God. Instead of an obstacle, marriage is regarded as an asset in acquiring spiritual perfection.

The Prophet said, "One who marries has already guarded half of his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half."20 A person who can fulfill his sexual urges lawfully is less distracted in the spiritual journey. Love for women and faith are inter-related.

In one hadith, 'Umar bin Zayd quotes Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq that, "I do not think that a person's faith can increase positively unless his love for women has increased."21The same Imam said, "Whenever a person's love for women increases, his faith increases in quality."22 He also said, "Whosoever's love for us increases, his love for women must also increase."23

Marriage even elevates the value of prayers. The Prophet said, "Two rak 'ats (cycles) prayed by a married person is better than the night-vigil and the fast of a single person."24 Ibn Fuzzal quotes Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq saying that, "Two rak'ats prayed by a married person is better than seventy rak'ats prayed by a single person."25

The Prophet said, "If anyone likes to meet Allah in purity, then he should meet Him with a wife."26

A woman came to the Prophet's house and her strong perfume soon filled the house. When the Prophet inquired about the visitor, the woman said that she had tried everything to attract her husband but in vain; he does not leave his meditation to pay any attention to her.

The Prophet told her to inform her husband about the reward of sexual intercourse which he described as follows: "When a man approaches his wife, he is guarded by two angels and [at that moment in Allah's views] he is like a warrior fighting for the cause of Allah. When he has intercourse with her, his sins fell like the leaves of the tree [in fall season]. When he performs the major ablution, he is cleansed from sins.27

* * *

These quotations from the Qur'an and the sayings of the Prophet and the Imams of Ahlu'l-bayt show that the Islamic view on sex and marriage is in complete harmony with human nature. It can easily be concluded that in the Islamic sexual morality:

(a) marriage and sex is highly recommended and it is in no way associated with evil, guilt or sin;

(b) monasticism and celibacy is unacceptable;

(c) marriage is considered a helping factor in attaining spiritual perfection it prevents the Muslims from getting into sins and also enhances the value of their acts of worship.

These teachings neutralize the need for a sexual revolution in a Muslim society. Since there is no sexual suppression, the question of a sexual revolution does not arise.

B. Defending the Islamic View

There are many non-Muslim writers, especially of liberal and feminist ideology, who have attacked the Islamic view of woman's sexuality. Their criticism is mostly based on some misconceived ideas about the Islamic sexual morality. Basically there are two problems with these writers: either they study Islam based on some Western social theories and models, or they are ill-equipped to study the original Islamic sources.

They rely mostly on the work done on Islam by the Orientalists or the European travelers of the past centuries. In some cases, books like Thousand and One Nights and The Perfumed Garden are used to explain the Islamic view on women's sexuality! These books, at the most, reflect the Arab view of female sexuality not the Islamic view. Therefore, these writings do not even deserve refutation.

However, for our discussion I have selected the work of an Arab feminist writer, Fatima Mernissi. The reason for commenting on her work is that she is an Arab writer who had easy excess to Islamic literature and hadith, in particular Ihyau 'Ulumi 'd-Din of the famous Sunni scholar Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali (d. 1111 C.E.). Moreover, Mernissi's book has been translated into various European and Asian languages and is becoming popular as an insider's report!

1. Mernissi’s Views

Fatima Mernissi's book, Beyond the Veil subtitled as "Male-Female Dynamics in Modern Muslim Society," is a study of the male-female relationship in the present Moroccan society. It is important to bear in mind that the attitude of the Muslims of Morocco does not necessarily represent Islam.

However, Mernissi has discussed the Islamic sexual morality in a chapter entitled as "The Muslim Concept of Active Female Sexuality." The main part of her discussion centres on the comparison between the views of Freud and Ghazali on female sexuality. Mernissi has summarized her conclusion as follows:

The irony is that Muslim and European theories come to the same conclusion: women are destructive to the social order for Imam Ghazali because they are active, for Freud because they are not.

Then she goes on to describe the negative attitude of the Christian West and the positive attitude of Islam towards sexuality in general. She writes:

Different social orders have integrated the tensions between religion and sexuality in different ways. In the Western Christian experience sexuality itself is attacked, degraded as animalistic and condemned as anti-civilization.

The individual is split into two antithetical selves: the spirit and the flesh, the ego and the id. The triumph of civilization implied the triumph of soul over flesh, of ego over id, of the controlled over the uncontrolled, of spirit over sex. Islam took a substantially different path.

What is attacked and debased is not sexuality but women, as the embodiment of destruction, the symbol of disorder. The woman is fitna, the epitome of the uncontrollable, a living representative of the dangers of sexuality and its rampant disruptive potential...Sexuality per se is not a danger. On the contrary it has three positive, vital functions...28

After describing the positive side of Islamic sexual morality, Mernissi attacks the concept of female sexuality in Islam as she has understood it from Ghazali's writings:

According to Ghazali, the most precious gift God gave humans is reason. Its best use is the search for knowledge...But to be able to devote his energies to knowledge, man has to reduce the tensions within and without his body, avoid being distracted by external elements, and avoid indulging in earthly pleasures.

Women are dangerous distraction that must be used for the specific purpose of providing the Muslim nation with offspring and quenching the tensions of the sexual instinct. But in no way should women be an object of emotional investment or the focus of attention; which should be devoted to Allah alone in the form of knowledge-seeking, meditation, and prayer.29

The conclusion which this ardent Arab feminist describes as the Islamic view can be summarized as follows: (a) Women are considered sexually active in the Islamic view; (b) therefore, women are a danger to the social order. (c) There should be no emotional investment in women; that is, a man should have no love for his wife.

(d) Why should there be no love between husband and wife? Mernissi would answer that love should be exclusively devoted to Allah. Now let us deal with each of these premises and conclusions gradually and see whether or not they are based on any reliable Islamic sources.

Women are Considered Sexually Active in Islam

The statement that in Islam women are considered sexually active, can mean two different things: either they are more sexually active than men or they are as sexually active as men. In the first sense, it would mean that women have a stronger sex drive; and in the second sense, it would mean that women are as normal as men in their sexuality. By looking at the context of Mernissi's writing, I would be justified in saying that she is using this statement in the first sense, that is, women are more sexually active than men.

In my study of the Qur'an and authentic ahadith on this subject, I have not come across any statement which says that women are more sexually active than men. I can say with confidence that as far as Islam is concerned, there is no difference between the sexuality of men and women.

There are, however, certain ahadith which can be used by Mernissi to prove that women are more sexually active than men provided she decides to stick to one part of those ahadith and ignore the other part! It is obvious that such partial use of hadith is an unacceptable academic exercise.

For example, in one such hadith, Asbagh bin Nubatah quotes Imam 'Ali as follows: "Almighty God has created the sexual desire in ten parts; then He gave nine parts to women and one to men." If the hadith had ended here, Mernissi would be right in her claim, but the hadith goes on: "And if the Almighty God had not given the women equal parts of shyness, then each man would have nine women related to him." 30

In other words, Allah has given the women greater part of sexual desire but He has also neutralized it by giving equal parts of shyness to them. Seen as a whole, this and other similar ahadith do not support the claim that in Islam women are more sexually active then men. As for the question that why did Allah give more sexual desire to women and then neutralize it with shyness, I shall inshaAllah deal with it in the chapter on sexual technique. So how has Mernissi arrived at her conclusion?

While contrasting the views of Freud and Ghazali on passive and active sexuality of women, Fatima Mernissi has studied the view of both writers on the process of human reproduction. First she quotes Freud as follows: "The male sex cell is actively mobile and searches out the female and the latter, the ovum, is immobile and waits passively..."31 This proves to Mernissi that in Freud's view, woman is sexually passive.

Then she contrasts this with Ghazali's view by quoting him as follows, "The child is not created from man's sperm alone, but from the union of a sperm from the male with a ovum from the female...and in any case the ovum of the female is a determinant facto